When someone on your team opens up, the way you respond shapes whether they’ll ever do it again. Listening well builds trust and psychological safety, helps prevent disengagement and silent burnout, and keeps people with you.
1. Give your full attention
Your presence is the message. If you’re distracted, they’ll shut down before they start.
- Close your laptop.
- Silence your phone.
- Look them in the eyes.
2. Let them talk
Let them talk at least 80% of the time. Silence is often when the real stuff shows up.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Stay quiet, even through long pauses.
- Don’t rush to reassure or solve.
3. Mind your body language
Your body language matters more than what you say. Stay physically open and emotionally neutral.
- Nod gently and stay relaxed.
- Avoid defensive postures.
- Don’t roll your eyes.
4. Ask questions
Ask open-ended questions to clarify what you don’t understand, but don’t interrogate.
- “Can you say a little more about that?”
- “What’s been the hardest part lately?”
- “Do you want to unpack that?”
5. Repeat it back
Summing up what you heard in your own words, not theirs, shows you’re listening.
“So what I’m hearing is…” Then pause, and let them confirm or correct you.